Tuesday, July 31, 2012
Monday, July 30, 2012
Saturday, June 16, 2012
funny story...the machine
In japan, they invented a machine that catches thieves;
they took it out for different countries to test it.
In the U.S, in 30 minutes it caught 30 thieves;
In the U.K, in 30 minutes, it caught 500 thieves;
In spain, in 20 minutes, it caught 60 thieves;
In ghana, in 40 minutes, it caught 4000 thieves;
In Uganda, it caught 50,000 thieves in 12 minutes;
In Nigeria...in 65 seconds, the machine was stolen...
they took it out for different countries to test it.
In the U.S, in 30 minutes it caught 30 thieves;
In the U.K, in 30 minutes, it caught 500 thieves;
In spain, in 20 minutes, it caught 60 thieves;
In ghana, in 40 minutes, it caught 4000 thieves;
In Uganda, it caught 50,000 thieves in 12 minutes;
nigeria
~ Check the expiry date of gala after eating it.
~ Go to church with extension and BB charger ( Charging in his presence ).
~ Update on BBM '' about 2 cross '', get hit bya car and still update ''dying tinz ''.
~ Say an opening prayer at nite clubs.
~ Go to an eatery and buy bottled water just to watch a soccer match.
~ Go to shoprite, buy a bottle of coke and spend 30 mins snapping with champagne bottles...lwkmd
~ Wear sun shades at nite.
~ Dress in complete rainbow colour like its rag day and call it colour blocking.
~ Count money after withdrawingfrom an ATM ( we trust no one, not even machines ).
~ Call a fat hausa man '' Alhaji '' and a thin one '' Aboki ''.
~ Travel to china for 2 days and come back with a british accent
Monday, June 4, 2012
nightmares of the sheets.
The
Disappearing Act
Toni and Wayne were having a fight that night about the
mysterious disappearance of their kids
“You know I had to go to work, you are just an irresponsible
mother!” shouted Wayne,
“If you had allowed me get a babysitter while I also worked,
this wouldn’t have happened!!” Toni shot back. They paused after sighting one
of the police forensics pass by their door. He came back immediately and
inquired “is everything alright sir, ma’am?” Wayne nodded in the affirmative
and then shot his eyes back to Toni…
“Now they’re gone, are you happy?”
“Where are all those b****s you call friends? Huh!!? Answer
me! Where are they!?”
Sobbing Toni sank into the ground, with her back sliding on
the door. After a few sniffs and sobbing, she walked into the sitting, “Wayne
I’m sorry…” with her face down. “I don’t know why this has to happen to us… I
mean… I…” She turned around… “baby…”
“Wayne?”…. No answer.
Mysteriously Wayne was also gone. She screamed, just then the forensics who
were working outside ran into the room,
“ma’am… what’s the problem?”
“… he… he…he” she sobbed, “Wayne’s gone.”
“What do you mean ma’am?” Just then they saw Wayne’s head
roll out of the curtains, bloody all over, drooling with a sticky mass of mucus
and saliva.
She screamed, grabbing the detective near her. The moment
she held him she felt a smoky air around her and then some was strangling her,
she was choking,
“Help!” She screamed…
Officers had been numbed, knocked out cold by a thing… unnoticed. They were
still cold… as she was being choked, she jumped out of bed screaming, sweating
all over. She turned to Wayne’s side of the bed. Gasping, she ran her manicured
hands through his imprint on the sheets…
On hearing splashing water from the bathroom, she dashed
off. Ripping the tub curtains apart, she held her scream in with her hands to
her agape mouth…. The water dripping off the tub had the colour of blood in it…
Then she heard his voice from behind the tub… “honey, why
didn’t you tell me the plumbing was this bad?” ”All this rust...”
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)